Ok, it’s Sunday. I thought it’s a lazy day. Cooler here in New York, so why not write something that will get people to laugh. A light story. I have had quite a few bad dates in my lifetime. I actually thought about writing a book about some of my past experiences, because frankly, we all have been there. We have ALL had that one person we dated where we cringe with just the thought of it or just laugh to ourselves in those “what were we thinking ” moments. We all had a time in our life that we thought it was the end of the world because of a breakup, or that moment where we really liked someone, but that person liked someone else. I thought about all of the bad dates and guys I have dated or liked etc and one of them sticks out in particular. He was such a cheap ass, and just very immature. I will call him Chris for the story (although that is NOT his real name).
One of my best friends came up with the idea of going to speed dating. Now this was YEARS ago and if you don’t know what speed dating is…..well, it basically a little get together with about 10 ladies and 10 guys in a room and the guys rotate to all of the ladies tables and you get about 2 minutes to talk to each guy. Then you mark on your paper that you liked the particular guy. If he marked your name as well, you made a match and you are emailed each others phone numbers. Sounds painless right?
I remember sitting at my table waiting for that stupid bell to ring that begins the session when all of a sudden this really hot guy comes to my table and introduces himself. I thought OMG if this is what the guys look like who will be coming to my table then this is going to be an awesome 2 minutes with each guy. Well, he wasn’t one of the guys participating in the event. Instead, he was from the Cleveland newspaper and he was there to ask me a bunch of nosy questions and to put my picture in the newspaper. Then the bell rang and it was time for round one.
The first guy who came to my table seemed very boring. He was a lawyer who lived in downtown Cleveland and liked to read. RING time for round 2. The next guy seemed like he was pissed to be there. He appeared very arrogant and frankly, just seemed to be like a complete ass hole. I didn’t think that bell could ring fast enough. Then the next guy came to my table and he wasn’t really my type but he asked me some interesting and odd questions. One of the questions he asked was “can you name the seven dwarfs”. It took my mind off the usual questions I was getting asked such as where are you from, where do you work, what do you like to do for fun”. I remember he had a warm smile so I made my first check as “interested”. A few more guys came to my table and I wasn’t really interested in any of them except the one who asked me that odd question. When it was finally over my best friend asked me what I thought and I told her I didn’t think I would ever do that again and I chose one guy. She had also only chose one guy out of the 10 or 12 we spoke with. We went to a few bars and clubs then headed home.
I completely forgot about the speed dating event as I was kind of talking to another guy. I can make a whole other blog on that guy (I will save for another laugh for another time). My phone rang and it was my best friend saying we are suppose to have our matches by now (if any) and she said the one guy she chose must not have chosen her because she did not receive any matches. I checked my email and sure enough I made the match with the one guy I chose (which means he chose me as well). You only are matched if both of you chose each other. I thought well, lets give him a call. He sounded pretty pleasant and asked if I would go to a dinner date with him courtesy of his employer. It was around Christmas time and the company he worked for was throwing a Christmas party and he was allowed to invite a guest. I thought it was weird to go on a date for the first time to a company party but I agreed and he picked me up the following weekend. What was even stranger was when I got to the party, he introduced me to all of his co-workers as his girlfriend. CRINGE!
If that was not uncomfortable enough, I also had to talk to all of his coworkers about how we met etc and being an introvert, this was a lot to take in. I was so glad when that date was over. It was late and he asked could we go out to dinner just me and him next week. I agreed and he picked me up. He gave me a rose and a little gift of …..you guessed it….one of the seven dwarfs. It was cute. He also gifted me with a little grumpy carebear later on (long story on that). He seemed to be thoughtful until I noticed every time we went to dinner he used a gift card. I later realized he received a whole bunch of gift cards for Christmas and his birthday (which was very close to Christmas). He invited me over to meet his parents shortly after. I thought it was way to soon for that as we only went on a couple of dates and I was also seeing another guy (just dating , nothing serious) at the same time, and I wasn’t really sure I liked him yet. He begged and begged me then he told me his mom is making dinner and is expecting me. I drove to his house and met his parents. His parents were so sweet and his mom even gave me a HUGE picture of angels that was absolutely gorgeous. She told me she was so glad her son met a beautiful, smart , sweet girl for once. The entire time I was thinking, man, I like his parents more then him. We were seeing each other for a few months and Valentines Day was approaching. Now mind you, we had only been seeing each other since Christmas so that was about 2 months. When I asked him if we were doing anything for Valentines Day he made a face and said “we only been seeing each other for two months”. I said ok, not a big deal. I didn’t really care one way or another because I just wasn’t that into him and I kind of liked another guy more but I really wasn’t looking for anything serious. Then Chris called me up one day before Valentines Day and said that he talked to his parents and he guesses we should do something for Valentines Day. I thought …..you had to talk to your parents to make this decision….really? Then Chris said that he hated going to crowded dinners and he would rather just us cook something at my place and chill and watch movies etc. On Valentines Day he brought me pink roses and we headed to the store to get pasta , salad, and dessert etc. While he was driving into the store parking lot he shot his head over so fast to look at something and he was starring intently, so I decided to whip my head around to see what the heck he was looking at. Well, he was checking out another girl who had long dark hair and her tits hanging out. I looked at him like ” are you seriously starring at another woman on Valentines day and making it that blatantly obvious”. He just starred straight ahead. Long story short, we got all of our food and headed to my place. We didn’t really have much to talk about. He asked me if I was seeing anyone else because he thought I did not call him enough. I told him yes, there is another guy I was kind of dating, but I wasn’t looking for anything serious at the moment because I had other things going on etc and the night ended pretty quickly. I would also like to add that his best friend invited me to come to his wedding. It was so awkward because it had only been a couple of months and we never made a commitment. I also would like to add that every time I asked Chris if he wanted to meet my family that he always had an excuse that he wasn’t ready or he needed to get his hair cut to look presentable etc but he sure didn’t waste any time begging me to meet his parents, sister, friends, coworkers etc. It was very strange.
I was going on vacation to California with a few friends. The trip was planned months ago and when I told Chris I would be gone for a week he just kept asking me if I was sure it was just ladies going on the trip. I thought it was weird he would even care since he kept making excuses to not meet my family and we never had the commitment talk yet etc. So while I was away on vacation he never called or texted me once. That entire week. My friends kept asking if I heard from him and I said no and I am stubborn so I didn’t contact him either. When I got back from vacation, Chris finally called me about 4 days after I got back. So basically we went almost two weeks not talking which is strange since we were talking or texting almost every day prior to my vacation. Chris knew I was moving soon as I told him that before I left for vacation as well. So he basically called me to say ” well, I am with my sister and she told me I should ask you if you need help moving your things into your new house etc”. I thought ….he couldn’t even call me because HE wanted to…..he was calling me because his SISTER told him to. That really irked me so I told him I did not need his help and I had to go. Long story short, he called me on the day of my move and asked who helped me move. I told him my family. He repeatedly asked me if there was another guy with me at that very moment. There wasn’t so I told him no and me and my family are going to dinner now so I had to go. Then he asked me one more time if I was sure I was not going to dinner with another guy. I said no and I hung up. It was very confusing dealing with this guy who was very cheap and would only take me out using his gift cards (even his father said he was sorry that his son was such a cheap ass and he hoped that I would stick around because I was good for his son). His parents paid for his entire education, all of his bills and he made 35.00 an hour . In fact, Chris had so much money that he said he didn’t even need to balance his checkbook because he knew he had a lot of money in the bank. Long story short, I emailed him and told him I didn’t want to see him again and good luck. yes, I emailed him and it was shady. I was young and just tired of his immaturity so I thought I would do the ultimate immature thing and not even tell him face to face to MOVE ON! I never seen or heard from him again.
Do you have any weird dating stories you want to share? Everyone has at least one weirdo they met in their life….so share your stories….lets laugh together!