I watched a YouTube video today and it inspired me to write this. I have been asked many times in my lifetime the big question “SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE CHILDREN”? I am not sure why so many people are nosy and are so concerned about MY life. I am quite sure they have things going on in their life that they should be more concerned about. However, I thought I would bring up this taboo of a topic because it appears to be an uncomfortable topic for some. I think some women are ashamed of what others might think of them if they DARE announce to the world that they just do not want children. So, I am going to announce to the entire universe that I am over 30 and I do not have kids, nor do I have any desire to have children. There……maybe those of you who think women were put on this earth just to have kids and serve men ….maybe you can shut the hell up now.
In fact, I have NEVER wanted children. I have never been ashamed to say so, yet, some people give me the look of surprise, bewilderment, or that sad pitiful gaze as they look me up and down then have the nerve to say “well, one day you will change your mind”. I have also been given the lecture that I am selfish and I was put on this earth to reproduce. I will just ignore those idiots for now and focus on why I feel the way I do.
When I was 15 I did some babysitting for a neighbor. The children were an absolute nightmare to be around. One of the kids use to bite me, spit on me, and one day he chased my friend around the house with a knife. Later on, we found out the child had some mental issues. However, that terror of a child was not the example that made me think twice about having children. In fact, I NEVER had that maternal instinct. I never, not once in my entire life thought about how wonderful it would be to be pregnant and start a family. I hate going to babyshowers and I do not find it enjoyable working next to my co-workers who like to whip out 500 pictures of their baby every 5 minutes. I would rather grab a nice cold drink and watch a ball game. I do not like babysitting and I do not like going to activities where there will be 500 kids. I would rather poke my eyes with hot needles then go to a child’s birthday party and there is nothing worse then going to dinner and listening to a brat cry for 10 minutes.
With that being said, I do think children are beautiful. From a far…….very very very far distance. I do enjoy buying gifts for other peoples children. I do have a soft spot for children where I would do anything for one if I see one cry or if they need help. I also enjoy taking my niece and nephew out. I have taken my niece to see Santa, her first pony ride, and to her first haircut at the salon. I have taken my niece and nephew Black Friday Shopping where we stopped at Starbucks and shopped. I really enjoyed that. I enjoy playing games with them as well.
So why don’t I want kids? Well, as I stated above, I just never had that maternal instinct. Some women have it and some don’t. In fact, one of my sister do not want children either (sorry mom)! I also love ME time. Yes, that may seem selfish, but it is what it is. I am an introvert and I do love to be alone quite a bit. I also think having children is so expensive. Years ago, families could be raised on one income of 10.00. In fact, my father worked in a factory making about 10-12 an hour, raised 3 children, had a home, a car and we always had food on the table. I can’t even imagine living anywhere (but a cardboard box) making 10.00 an hour. How can you raise kids on that? I love to sleep in and I love my freedom. When you have a child you do give up a lot of your freedom. I have also had a very extensive surgery on my pelvis. I am not going to get into to much detail about that, but it was a serious procedure that leaves me with the odds of having children to about 1 percent chance.
I would also like to say that it is extremely rude and just an invasion of privacy to ask a lady why she doesn’t have children. Maybe she had a surgery like mine, and is just unable to have children. Maybe she had a stillborn. Maybe she is just having fertility issues or she is having a lot of marital stress…or maybe …..just maybe…IT IS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!.
I am going to share this little video for you that I found on YouTube. The Youtubers name is Carrie and she is 30 years old and she made a video of why she doesn’t want to have children. She brings a very interesting perspective to this ! For those ladies who feel like myself or Carrie, cheers to you! There is nothing wrong for making a decision that is right for YOU. For those of you reading this blog and sitting there with your judgmental attitude…well….you know what you can do….
Here is Carries video:)
ChristinaAlexander 