Another hilarious dating story for you :)


For some reason, my blog about one of my nightmare dating stories got more attention than my other blogs, so I thought I would go ahead and entertain you with another hilarious dating story I had YEARS ago. I think everyone has a few funny stories to tell about people they met in their life and everyone can relate to just being beyond fed up with the funny and horrific dates we have experienced in our lifetime. Let’s begin…..

I will start with the question of, “have you ever been on a blind date”?  If you have, then you know the pain that I am about to share. If you have not then I recommend you tell your best friend or whoever is setting you up on a blind date no thank you and get a good book with a coffee instead. Most of the stories I hear about blind dates are just awful. Here is my story!

My best friend who I will call Sarah for this story decided it would be a good idea to set me up on a blind date, but not tell me. One day she called me and asked if I wanted to go to dinner with her. I said of course because I love to go out to dinners. When she arrived at my place she asked me to curl my hair. I just stared at her for a second and asked her why then asked her why her hair wasn’t curled. She answered with ” she likes to see my hair curled”. I gave her a funny look and said ok, this is weird then I asked her where we were going for dinner. She said it was a surprise. I hate surprises and she knew that so I stopped curling my hair and asked her what we were really doing. She said “just going out to dinner” and she smiled. When I was finished curling my hair she asked if I would put a little makeup on. I knew she was up to something so I asked her who was coming with us to this surprise dinner. She said it would be just us and a few of her coworkers.

As we got in her car and she started driving I asked her again, what restaurant we were headed too. She then said ” well, my coworkers will be there and there is this guy me and my coworker want to set you up with”. I thought “oh no, this is a blind date and I am going to beat her ass when it’s over with”. I do not remember what restaurant we went to. I just remember walking inside and there were about 10 others waiting for us and all smiling and staring at me. Basically the ENTIRE table knew what was up. How embarrassing I thought. There were a few guys sitting at the table and I wondered which one was supposed to be the one I was there for. All of a sudden Sarah pulled a seat for me and I was across a guy with blonde hair and green eyes. He was quiet but kept staring at me and I thought ” he is kind of cute, not my type, I wonder if it is him”. I am an introvert so I usually do not strike up a conversation with anyone. I can sit in a room for two hours and not say much to anyone. Sarah finally introduced me to the guy across from me and she whispered in my ear “that is him, what do you think”.  I remember telling her this is very embarrassing and I am going to get her when we leave. Long story short, Sarah’s coworker called her the next day to get my phone number for that guy whose name will be Mike for this story.

The next day Sarah called me and said Mike wanted a get together at his place with me, her and another coworker. We were all to bring food and drinks, and watch some movies. I went with my best friend and her coworker to Mikes house to eat and watch movies and just chill for awhile. The first thing I noticed about Mikes place was his refrigerator was filled to the brim with alcohol. There was alcohol that took up the entire refrigerator, on top of the refrigerator, next to it and all over his kitchen counters.

Mike asked me if he could call me so we could hang out alone the following weekend. He took me out to dinner and then asked me if I wanted to hang out the next day and meet a few of his friends. His friends were going to build a bridge that would allow them to be able to get to each others houses easier (there was a very large ditch that prevented the neighbors to be able to quickly get to each others houses). The next day I arrived at his house to hang out with him and his friends. When I got to the house where they were going to build a bridge I noticed about 10 guys and they all had coolers that had a bunch of beer in them.  They built a camp fire and decided they all wanted to drink all night instead. So all of the guys got drunk, told the most stupid stories, belched all night, pissed in the camp fire, and mooned each other. I was the only girl. Mike turned to me and said ” see, I don’t cheat on my women, and this is what I like to do every single weekend, I like to drink with my friends, get real drunk, and just have a good time, so I hope you like to drink and don’t mind we do this every weekend” ! I remember thinking “I hope he is kidding”.  Afterall, I did not and still do not drink to this day and having to sit for 6 hours watching guys moon each other, burp all night, laugh at stupid jokes, and piss on bonfires, doesn’t really give me this wonderful feeling of looking forward to doing that every weekend.

The night finally ended with Mike very drunk and stumbling into his apartment, while I drove home. The next day he asked if I could come over his apartment to run some errands with him . I went to a few stores with him where he lost his temper with one of the employees at Home Depot where I was so embarrassed that I actually walked away and whispered “I am sorry” to the employee. Mike was so angry that he argued about the employee the entire ride back to his place. Then the most biggest surprise to me of that day was he made a stop before going to his place. He stopped at his moms place. I had to meet his mom. He introduced me to his mom and she asked me if I was even legal (because I looked very young for my age). I remember looking at Mike funny and answered with a polite “I am over 18”. We leave her house and Mike is just so happy and decided to invite me to meet his other family members that consisted of his uncles and cousins. I asked him what would we be doing with all of his uncles and cousins and he said drinking of course! Then he said that the weekends he was not having bonfires with his friends, that he would be at his uncle’s house drinking all weekend, so I would have to pack my bags for a fun-filled  drinking weekend!

I told him I would think about it and I drove home. Long story short, I told him I was not going to a drinking fest for an entire weekend with a bunch of people I don’t know. He decided to show up at my place unannounced anyways, so we could hang out. we decided to take a walk in th park. He tried to hold my hand several times while I just kept taking my hand back. Then he did something that was so immature that we actually got into an argument about. There were several bees around us as we were walking and he decided he wanted to act like a bee then he started to make this irritating bee noises next to my ear and he would not stop until I yelled at him “what are we in kindergarten now”? Well that got him so angry that he took me home and he left without saying a word.

The next day Sarah called me and said her coworker who set me and Mike up along with my best friend called her and told her Mike and her coworker were basically  bashing me big time saying I was a prude, had no sense of humor, and they called me a bitch. Sarah told me if Mike called to ignore his calls because what he said was just inexcusable. Long story short, Mike had called me several times drunk and asking for forgiveness and begging me to please call him and he was sorry. I ignored his calls. Then to make all of this even ten times funnier….

About a year later I went to an event with one of my friends who also knew Mike and the coworker of my best friend. While I was at the event I ran into Sarah’s coworker (who tried to set me up with Mike) and she approached me. She was on the phone and said she was currently talking to Mike. I said ok. She then said Mike says hi. I said tell him Hello. Then she hung up the phone and said ” well Mike is now working for a lawyer’s office and he is making A LOT of money”. I turned to look at her and said “well good for Mike” and I left her standing there. I was not about to get into a conversation about Mike at that event. I also found out awhile after that event that Mike was telling all of his friends that he was with a new girl who was very bad in bed but since she was a sweet girl he was going to stick it out a little longer. I thought how disgusting and I am so glad I never got serious or did anything with that guy. I just think it’s disgusting for anyone to be trash talking or bragging about their bedroom life.

So for all of you who were ever set up on a blind date….how did it go…share the stories please!!!!

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