Shadows of Her

Do you like creepy thrillers ? My third book titled Shadows of Her will surely bring all kinds of creepy chills dow your spine. I have always loved reading horror , especially Stephen Kings nightmarish stories. I am half way through the writing process and taking editing and creative writing classes. I am currently working out the cover as well. If you like creepy tales then this book will be for you ! Stay tuned !!

How has Covid affected your life?

As I am sitting here writing this I begin to think of how life use to be. Before Covid 19. I use to stop at my local Starbucks for a grande iced macchiatto to sip as I painlessly made my way through the dreaded grocery store. I use to sip my beloved coffee as I shopped my way around Nordstrom Rack and Kirklands. I loved sipping my coffee while shopping. It brought me comfort.

I use to love to go to a great horror flick. Every time a Stephen King movie was released or Halloween time rolled around I would gather with my friends or family and make my way to the movie theater with the reclining chairs and speakers so loud I swore my ear drums would pop at any second.

I LOVE going to concerts. I have been to quite a few shows in my life time. I have seen Mariah Carey about 5 times live. Mariahs Christmas shows are my favorite. I was planning on going again this December. I have seen Usher a few times, Kelly Clarkson, Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera, Brandy, and Nick Lachey among many others.

I loved going to basketball games. Nothing was better then those moments of seeing Kyrie Irvings crossovers and LeBron James super human strength dominate the court. I loved the jumbo screens and Clevelands crowds cheering away to the most dynamic duo in NBA history (in my opinion). I know Anthony Davis is playing like LeBrons right hand man right now but I am still in the bliss moments of the memories of Kyrie.

I loved taking long strolls in the Cleveland Metro parks. I loved the quiet, peaceful walk with the shaded trees, wild rabbits and chirping of the birds.

Now my life has completely changed because of Covid. I signed up for a writers shop in Cleveland, Ohio and was so excited to finally attend the workshop and meet publishers and have the opportunity to present my books. The class was changed from being downtown cleveland to online. I felt a little sad to miss the opportunity to attend the class in person.

I can no longer sip on my Starbucks coffee while shopping. The state of Ohio has mandated masks to be worn or the stores have the right to refuse service.

I am still afraid to order take out food. I mostly cook at home now . My grocery store shopping experience now is wearing a mask, carrying disinfectant with me, keeping a 6 foot distance between shoppers, disinfecting my car afterwards, disinfecting my food packaging , disinfecting my counter tops, doorknobs, and changing my clothes after the shopping ordeal. Basically it takes me twice as long grocery shopping then it did before Covid which makes me hate grocery shopping twice as much as I did before.

I no longer feel comfortable going out in crowds. That means no more basketball games or concerts for me for a long time even after Covid starts to decrease. I don’t know when I will be ready to actually sit down in a restaurant again. I feel more comfortable cooking my own food and not having to worry about what Covid19 germs are on my food wrappers , cups , napkins etc. If I do make that rare trip to Jimmy Johns and Starbucks, I do not accept or use their napkins and I disinfect the wrappers or cups. I feel like its a lot less hassle to just stay home and make my own dinner and coffee.

I know a few people who have experienced Covid 19. My coworkers brother died in March from Covid. My coworker has been off of work for two weeks now with Covid19. My supervisors wife currently has Covid19.

I am afraid of being one of the Covid 19 carriers without symptoms and passing it to my family. I am afraid to take a walk in the park because it is so crowded and no one keeps the 6 feet distance. I am afraid of walking in stores to browse because I know the germs are everywhere.

A vaccination is in the works for Covid19 but I am a little concerned what is actually in this vaccinations and what the long term affects will be if I get one. I don’t trust the government and vaccinations. I already have my concerns on the flu vaccinations that are forced upon healthcare workers every year with unknown long term affects . Hospitals are now forcing the vaccination while making the employees sign a waiver that they can not sue the hospital as the risks of the vaccination are unknown. If that doesn’t make your stomach turn I don’t know what will. I can guarantee that health systems will force this Covid vaccinations on employees while making them sign a waiver so they can’t sue for any odd side affects that might occur with this new vaccination. Sometimes I feel like the government is out to control our every move.

Stay safe out there everybody! Life is short. Enjoy it! As for me, I am staying inside and looking forward to the NBA playoffs if they make it that far without Covid taking over.

Remembering July 15th !

Today is the day my father passed away …… years ago. I lay in my bed writing this post as I think about all of the good and not so good times I had with him. My father was an alcoholic. There were some really good days and some really bad days. I never really felt love from my father.

My father grew up in Branchland West Virginia. He dropped out of school after the 8th grade. He moved from West Virginia to Cleveland , Ohio in his early twenties. He worked very hard in a factory and would drink just as hard at night. He would drink a lot of beer and Irish Rose and make his own moonshine. He was usually to drunk to really know what was going on in my life.

However , he would take some time every now and then to take my sisters and I to the Cleveland metro parks . I remember me and my sisters would play ball and in the water while my father would drink beer and enjoy the weather. My dad was always driving drunk even with his children in the car. He would sometimes drive through red lights with us in the car.

I remember my father saying extremely embarrassing things to my friends about their breast size. I remember him passing out on the couch every day with a wine bottle in his hand. I remember going to bars with him at the age of 10.

However , my dad did work extremely hard in that factory and often worked overtime. I always had a roof over my head and food on the table so I know in a way I was more blessed then others. I remember my father never giving me anything for my birthday. However , one time there was a postcard in the mail with a frog on it ( I love frogs ) and it said Happy Birthday on it with my fathers handwriting on it. I remember how happy I was because it was from him. I placed that postcard in my dresser drawer and kept it there for years. I would have done anything for him to just love me and to get to know me more.

I remember my dad taking me bowling. Once. I had the best time of my life because I was with him. I don’t think he ever knew how much I wanted him to adore me . I don’t think he really knew how much I cared for him.

I remember the night he passed away. He was talking to his twin sister on the phone . I remember looking in his eyes thinking he didn’t look well. Something was off. I remember it was a very hot and hazy July 15th summer night . I remember him going to sleep in his bedroom while my mother slept on the couch because she said the bedroom was to hot. I remember sleeping in my sisters room because her room was cooler then mine. I remember hearing my dads fan running in his bedroom window while I slowly creeped to my sisters bedroom to fall asleep. I remember it being so hot that I woke up in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep. I remember walking to the bathroom that was next to my fathers bedroom. The clock read 2 am. I remember coming out of the bathroom and thinking I heard someone talking. I remember pausing in the dark starring at my fathers room. I rember it being eerily quiet. Did I hear my father say something ? I remember pausing for about 10 seconds and not hearing anything so I went back to bed.

I remember waking up around 10 am to see my mom crying and saying my father wasn’t breathing. I remember running to his bedroom and seeing him laying on his bed with his eyes wide open. I remember touching my father and he felt cold. I remember running to the phone and calling 911. I remember the operator asking me if there was anyone else with me. I remember telling the operator my mother was with me. The operator told me to ask my mom to help me get my father on the floor to start chest compressions. My mother and I laid him on the floor and she started chest compressions. I remember hearing ambulance sirens in the background. I remember two men placing a white sheet over my fathers body and taking him into the ambulance.

My father died in his sleep that night. He had been dead for several hours before we knew and started chest compressions. I remember going to the funeral and his twin sister telling me it was ok to touch him one last time. I remember touching him in the casket as he laid to rest. I remember moving my hand quickly away because he no longer felt like my dad . He felt like a stuffed teddy bear. That is the last memory that I continue to have over and over again.

I remember a few years ago I prayed to my father. I prayed for him to give me a sign that he was ok and happy . That night I had a very odd vivid dream about him that let me know he made it safely to the other side. He was telling me in my dream that he was very happy now. I remember waking up from that dream and finally smiling because I really felt in my heart that he was happier at that moment then he had ever been on earth.

To those of you who have a father please take time to get to know him and take time to cherish the moments you have with him because we are not promised every day.

JULY 15th. I always remember.

Social Justice NBA jerseys….thoughts?

The NBA has recently announced that it will allow the basketball players to wear NBA approved social justice messages on the back of their jerseys for the rest of the season. LeBron James has decided not to display a message on the back of his uniform and will have just his name on his uniform as usual. LeBron made a statement saying he didn’t need to have something on the back of his jersey for people to understand his mission. LeBron has a brand and I think his brand is about keeping everything straightforward.

The Lakers are all set to play their first game since the pandemic shut the NBA down. You can catch LeBron with his team the LA Lakers Thursday July 30th 9pm Eastern time on TNT. The LA Lakers will face the LA Clippers. The UT Jazz will play the New Orlean Pelicans Thursday July 30th at 6:30pm Eastern time on TNT.

CALLING ALL LAMBS!!!! Mariah Carey has released her memoir !!!!

At just the age of 50 , Mariah has decided to release her personal memoir. With a release date of September 29, Mariah is telling it all ! Or will she ?
I have followed Mariah’s career since Vision of Love. There are so many interesting aspects about her life from growing up biracial ( in the 70-80s), landing a huge recording deal at age 18 and marrying the CEO of her record company Tommy Mattola. Mariah has eluded to being held captive in the mansion she once called sing sing that she shared with Tommy. I remember Oprah’s interview asking Mariah if she was actually held captive in that mansion. Mariah smiled and simply said “ she could have walked out if she wanted to”. However in a Barbara Walters interview when being asked about dressing more demure while being married to Tommy , Mariah said she could wear what she wanted but it would have been a thing.
Mariah has never really said exactly what went down with that marriage but there have been other singers and songwriters who have commented Tommy might have been a little controlling. Is that all true ? Will we find out in this memoir ?
Will Mariah talk about what lead to that divorce and give a little more insight on her songs on her Butterfly album that she wrote during that divorce ? Will she talk about the rumors about Derek Jeter? Mariah dated Derek Jeter shortly after the divorce with Tommy but there isn’t much documented on that . I always thought The Roof was written about Derek as well as Fourth of July.

Will Mariah talk about how she was snubbed at the Grammys for her One Sweet Day song that was number one on the billboard charts for 12 weeks and did not win the category for record of the year.

Will Mariah talk about what went down in the Glitter era ? There were several articles out saying Mariah had a breakdown following her breakup with Louise Miguel ( very private relationship ), but Mariah simply said she worked herself to the ground getting 2 hours of sleep a night for months which lead to physical exhaustion. Many fans didn’t believe that story. Will Mariah talk about the song that “allegedly “ was stolen by Tommy Mattola and Jennifer Lopez ? Irv Gotti made a statement years ago that Tommy asked him to work on a particular song with Jennifer ( that he knew Mariah had already sampled ). Mariah has always taken the high road and would simply say “ I don’t know her “ when asked about Jennifer. Jennifer has never made a comment on it.

Will Mariah talk about Virgin records dropping her from their label which lead to The Emancipation of MiMi? Will she talk about her relationship with Nick Cannon and what lead to that divorce ?

Many people say Mariah is to young to write a Memoir. However , life is short. We never know when our time comes to be taken from this earth. I remember Mariah once said she didn’t think she would even live this long. She was around 40 years of age when she said that in an interview.

I know I am pre ordering my copy. I think it’s going to be one heck of a read. You can get your copy September 29th at various stores including Barns N Noble and Target.